Unsure Why Your Child Is Struggling? Find Out.
Forget thinking, wondering, and suspecting. Know.
When you’ve been doing something for a very long time, there isn’t much you haven’t heard, seen, or experienced. And while I’ve been in this arena for years, this one gets me every, single time.
It’s not new, but it still makes me want to break something.
Here’s the scenario…
Parents reach out because their child is struggling in school. And at home.
One of the very first questions I ask is…has your child been evaluated and if so, what is their diagnosis or diagnoses.
Sometimes there’s an initial silence, but more times than not, the responses go something like this…
“Well, we’ve been ‘thinking’ there may be something going on.”
“I ‘suspect’ he may have ADHD, but my husband/wife is worried about him having a label.”
“You know…we’ve been “wondering” about this, but the teacher says it’s just being a 2nd Grader and she’s fine.”
No. Wrong answers.
When it comes to your child and if they’re struggling, you need to know why.
And knowing means evaluations.
It means concrete information via assessments, data via charts, & narratives with details.
Knowing means erasing the blurry and making the view clear.
You can “think” about where you want to go on vacation this summer.
You can “suspect” that the dog ate something outside that he shouldn’t have.
You can “wonder” what will happen at your upcoming performance review.
But when it comes to your struggling child, the words I want to say but don’t because by the time most parents contact me, they’re already maxed out is this…
What the hell are you waiting for to know what’s going on?
Yes, I get it. Evaluations, if done privately, are expensive.
Yes, I get it. Evaluations are often stressful for your child and for you too.
Yes, I get it. Evaluations mean something may actually be at play causing many of the issues your child is dealing with.
But the alternative doesn’t work at all.
There are some things that can’t wait. And if the struggling has been ongoing for quite some time, this isn’t one of them. The longer the wait for answers, the more difficult it is for your child. And for you.
I’ve supported parents who have taken out a loan, borrowed from family, and skipped a vacation to have their child evaluated.
Those who have had to use their vacation or sick time to handle the often multiple visits to a clinician for these evaluations.
And those whose children have been struggling for so long that it’s created additional issues for their children, for them at their jobs, and for their families as well.
Waiting doesn’t work here.
This is one of those situations where time matters because the sooner you know if your child has a diagnosis or diagnoses, the sooner you can start moving forward with supporting their needs and starting the process to secure the special education services and supports they may well need in school.
School is their job and if they’re struggling there every day, imagine the impact on their learning, social interactions, and self-esteem.
So here are my recommendations…
Secure a comprehensive, private neuropsychological evaluation. There are places that accept insurance or where the costs may be less than an individual clinician and for an initial evaluation, this is best. Some information to explain the process: https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/all-childrens-hospital/services/institute-brain-protection-sciences/programs-and-services/center-for-behavioral-health/neuropsychology/neuropsychological-evaluation-faq
Ensure you receive a copy of the report before meeting with the clinician. You need time to review it, have your questions ready, and be prepared to discuss it. This report should include substantive recommendations regarding school including placement and if your child is in high school, recommendations for college accommodations if this is the path forward.
Understand the report clearly before submitting it to your school district. It’s often the first step toward special education eligibility so you want to be as familiar with it as possible. This means understanding the scores and data. And…your district only needs to “consider” vs. “accept” the results, meaning they may choose to evaluate as well.
The importance of replacing “suspect,” “think,” and “wonder” with knowing cannot be overstated.
Having the information you need will change the trajectory of your child’s path in school and home, changing life at home, improve your ability to manage things at work, and make things at home better as well.
Knowing is not only important, but is the first step toward helping your struggling child begin to realize success…in school and well beyond.
If you need support interpreting these evaluation reports or preparing for an IEP eligibility meeting, reach out to me as I’d be pleased to assist you.